My post season record is shot. I think it is 4-6 or something like that. Thank the heavens that I will not fall to 4-7. That is not because I will pick the winner of Superbowl XLII correctly. That’s because I refuse to pick a winner.
What a moral dilemma this Superbowl presents to me: On one side we have the team I hate the most in the NFL at the moment: The New England Patriots. On the other side we have Eli Manning and Plaxico Burress. We have a team from New York. What possible good outcome could there be if either team wins?
None.
Either team winning brings its own version of hell to me. If ever there was a sign of the apocalypse it would probably be Tom Brady lifting his 4th Lombardi trophy or Eli Manning lifting his first. Both might bet the anti-christ, by the way.
On second thought, neither of them are the anti-christ because he is supposed to be charismatic. Eli Manning is far too simple minded to be charismatic and Tom Brady is just a flaming asshole / dickhead. The only reason most of you can’t see it is because the Patriots organization know this and therefore limit his public speaking so it does not interrupt the heavy earth moving equipment that maneuvers Robert Kraft’s money from Gillette Stadium to his bank.
I really could care less who wins this game. I would say that I’m not going to watch it but I really don’t think I can control myself. Even though there is a 99% chance I’ll be miserable at the end of the game what if this is the game where someone breaks Brady’s arm? Or maybe Teddy Bruschi will have another stroke right in the middle of the field and his head will explode throwing skull shrapnel into Junior Seau’s eyeball. Or what if giant, man eating scorpions descend into Phoenix and devour both teams? I just can’t risk not witnessing those possibilities. That would be a win for me.
This game actually reminds of the last time the New York Giants made it to the Superbowl. It was 2000 or 2001 and it was the Giants vs the Ravens. Strangely enough it was also the last Superbowl where I didn’t feel strongly about one team winning. That Superbowl had every sign of being a snooze fest and didn’t disappoint when Baltimore finally beat the inept Giants without even scoring an offensive touchdown if memory serves. That was probably one of the most irrelevant Superbowls in history. For fuck’s sake I think the QBs were Trent Dilfer vs Kerry Collins. Can it get more irrelevant than that? Superbowl XLII will probably take it’s place in history right next to that abomination. That is a testament to how boring the Giants are and how much I really just hate thinking about the Patriots.
Fuck this game. Fuck those teams. A pox on their families for all time. And if there is a hell, it can’t be any worse than what I’ll most likely be watching on February 3rd, 2008.
The off season can’t come too soon.
-David
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Why ruin a perfect .500 post season?
For two post seasons in a row I can’t seem to move the needle off .500 with my predictions. Again, that’s why I never bet on football.
As I consider the games this weekend, before I can think about who’ll win I need to consider who has a chance to beat the Patriots. As the weeks continue to roll on, my hatred for the Patriots mounts to an almost unbearable level. If someone doesn’t knock these fuckers out of the playoffs I’m just going to have to lock myself in a room for 2 or 3 days and cry. Oh how I hate Tom Brady and Bill Belifuck.
Strangely enough, I think all 3 teams remaining that could face them could beat them. The key is their defense. The Giants, Packers, and Chargers all have a physical defense that can put pressure on a quarterback. Let’s face it, no one is going to shut down the Patriots offense but I think any of those teams could hold them to between 20 and 30 points. So then you consider: which offense can score 30+ points?
Scoring 30+ points on the New England defense isn’t actually the problem since their defense isn’t really all that great. It’s above average, but it’s old and it is easily the worse defense of the 4 teams remaining. The problem is most of the teams left have an anemic offense.
We can rule out the Giants right now. There is no way they are going to run up a score on the Patriots. Eli will come back down to earth and this team will struggle. So that’s a big NO for NY.
The Chargers could do it... Especially if they field a healthy team (more on this later). But I’d say if you let them play 5 games and went for the majority most of the time San Diego would probably come up short. I just don’t see them being able to consistently come out there and run up the score if you can take LT out of the equation. I trust Rivers only a tiny bit more than Eli. But luckily they only pay one game, not five. So we’ll give the Chargers a maybe.
Green Bay can easily score 30+ points against New England. Hell, they could score 40+ points on them. This is a definite yes.
If Green Bay’s defense plays like they did in the first half of the year (or the way they did against Seattle last week), this team beasts the Patriots. If the Charger’s defense plays at top level and their offense plays at tippy top level they could beat the Patriots. If Randy Moss gets put in jail and the devil finally comes to collect Tom Brady’s soul, the Giants could possibly beat the Patriots. Ah, who am I kidding, they still couldn’t do it. They’ll implode long before then. Eli Manning sucks big balls.
On to this week’s predictions:
In case you haven’t noticed I’m not real big on New York. I know you’re not supposed to look past a game but I think it’s safe for Green Bay to start considering New England. This won’t even be a game. The Giants offense won’t score more than 10 points against the Packers. I’m thinking something like 52-17 Packers.
The AFC Championship game intrigues me. In the end, the Patriots will probably roll pretty handily over the Chargers. But as I stated above, the Chargers can do it. I know Rivers, Tomlinson, and Gates are all injured, but that isn’t the end of the world. Well, if Gates can play it’s not the end of the world, anyway. He can’t be replaced. But since he played last week I would think he’ll play this week and hopefully be effective this time given one more week to heal. The good news for the Chargers is that they have two of the most capable back ups in the league with Billy Volek and Michael Turner. In fact, Turner is hands down the best back up running back in the league (in my book). And in case you forget remember what Volek did with the Titan’s a few years ago at the end of the season. Those 4,321 touchdowns passes from Volek to Drew Bennet in the span of 3 games still haunts me (they were not on my fantasy team).
This game all comes down to Norv Turner. Will he trust that his TEAM can win a game? By that I mean he needs to field his healthy players and give them a chance to win. If Rivers is too injured, don’t play him just because he’s your #1 QB. Play Volek. Same with LT. If he is not 85% or higher, play Turner. Don’t handicap the rest of your team by playing a lame duck when the back ups are this good. I don’t think New England’s defense is all that, but even 100 year old Junior Seau can run down a guy that’s limping.
So please, Norv, remember it’s a team sport and put the guys on the field that can give your team a chance to win. Don’t look past the talent of your back ups and play your injured starters because you think they are the only guys who can do it. Play your healthy players. That’s why you have a bench. You do that, you can win.
So for shits and giggles, I’m picking the Chargers this week. How about 27-24?
Hell, why ruin a perfect .500 post season?
-David
As I consider the games this weekend, before I can think about who’ll win I need to consider who has a chance to beat the Patriots. As the weeks continue to roll on, my hatred for the Patriots mounts to an almost unbearable level. If someone doesn’t knock these fuckers out of the playoffs I’m just going to have to lock myself in a room for 2 or 3 days and cry. Oh how I hate Tom Brady and Bill Belifuck.
Strangely enough, I think all 3 teams remaining that could face them could beat them. The key is their defense. The Giants, Packers, and Chargers all have a physical defense that can put pressure on a quarterback. Let’s face it, no one is going to shut down the Patriots offense but I think any of those teams could hold them to between 20 and 30 points. So then you consider: which offense can score 30+ points?
Scoring 30+ points on the New England defense isn’t actually the problem since their defense isn’t really all that great. It’s above average, but it’s old and it is easily the worse defense of the 4 teams remaining. The problem is most of the teams left have an anemic offense.
We can rule out the Giants right now. There is no way they are going to run up a score on the Patriots. Eli will come back down to earth and this team will struggle. So that’s a big NO for NY.
The Chargers could do it... Especially if they field a healthy team (more on this later). But I’d say if you let them play 5 games and went for the majority most of the time San Diego would probably come up short. I just don’t see them being able to consistently come out there and run up the score if you can take LT out of the equation. I trust Rivers only a tiny bit more than Eli. But luckily they only pay one game, not five. So we’ll give the Chargers a maybe.
Green Bay can easily score 30+ points against New England. Hell, they could score 40+ points on them. This is a definite yes.
If Green Bay’s defense plays like they did in the first half of the year (or the way they did against Seattle last week), this team beasts the Patriots. If the Charger’s defense plays at top level and their offense plays at tippy top level they could beat the Patriots. If Randy Moss gets put in jail and the devil finally comes to collect Tom Brady’s soul, the Giants could possibly beat the Patriots. Ah, who am I kidding, they still couldn’t do it. They’ll implode long before then. Eli Manning sucks big balls.
On to this week’s predictions:
In case you haven’t noticed I’m not real big on New York. I know you’re not supposed to look past a game but I think it’s safe for Green Bay to start considering New England. This won’t even be a game. The Giants offense won’t score more than 10 points against the Packers. I’m thinking something like 52-17 Packers.
The AFC Championship game intrigues me. In the end, the Patriots will probably roll pretty handily over the Chargers. But as I stated above, the Chargers can do it. I know Rivers, Tomlinson, and Gates are all injured, but that isn’t the end of the world. Well, if Gates can play it’s not the end of the world, anyway. He can’t be replaced. But since he played last week I would think he’ll play this week and hopefully be effective this time given one more week to heal. The good news for the Chargers is that they have two of the most capable back ups in the league with Billy Volek and Michael Turner. In fact, Turner is hands down the best back up running back in the league (in my book). And in case you forget remember what Volek did with the Titan’s a few years ago at the end of the season. Those 4,321 touchdowns passes from Volek to Drew Bennet in the span of 3 games still haunts me (they were not on my fantasy team).
This game all comes down to Norv Turner. Will he trust that his TEAM can win a game? By that I mean he needs to field his healthy players and give them a chance to win. If Rivers is too injured, don’t play him just because he’s your #1 QB. Play Volek. Same with LT. If he is not 85% or higher, play Turner. Don’t handicap the rest of your team by playing a lame duck when the back ups are this good. I don’t think New England’s defense is all that, but even 100 year old Junior Seau can run down a guy that’s limping.
So please, Norv, remember it’s a team sport and put the guys on the field that can give your team a chance to win. Don’t look past the talent of your back ups and play your injured starters because you think they are the only guys who can do it. Play your healthy players. That’s why you have a bench. You do that, you can win.
So for shits and giggles, I’m picking the Chargers this week. How about 27-24?
Hell, why ruin a perfect .500 post season?
-David
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Cowher to Washington?
Well the Steelers bowed out of the playoffs more gracefully than I expected. In the days leading up to the game I had them as losing by 21 points. On the day of the game I softened up a bit and called them losing by 14 points. So I consider a defeat by 2 points to be a small victory.
Let’s just hope Tomlin learns from his mistakes in that game, we have a good draft with nothing but offensive lineman, and we hire a circus freak as a second kicker who can kick a ball 200 yards out the back of any endzone. If we can do that, we can win next year.
That game was damn near the only one I picked correctly last week. I took Washington (lost), Jacksonville (won), Tampa Bay (lost), and San Diego (won). So I’m sitting at 2-2. I’d have to go back and check but I think I pretty much ended up at .500 last post season so I can see my trend continues.
For the record I think New England and Indy win this weekend as well as Dallas and Green Bay.
I think Indy wins the AFC and Dallas wins the NFC.
I think Indy takes it all and makes it 2 in a row.
But now I turn my attention from the active game to the offseason – the game within the game. The first few coaching vacancies (Atlanta, Miami, and Baltimore) didn’t interest me much. Who really cares who fills in for those shitball teams? But when Joe Gibbs stepped down my Bill Cowher radar went off. I think I’ve said it here in the past but I expect Bill to go to an owner with very deep pockets when he goes back to coaching. That narrows it down to Jerry Jones in Dallas, Daniel Snyder in Washington, and Randy Lerner in Cleveland. That’s why I was so big on Jones using Wade Phillips as a pawn (until Wade fucked up his master plan by having the best team in the NFC!).
I also think Cowher would be smart to come back in the NFC and I think he knows that. The NFC is still pretty weak compared to the AFC and if a team was to institute some hard core, smash mouth football featuring a punishing running game they could cut through the NFC like a hot knife through warm butter. That’s Bill Cowher football right there.
So now I focus on Washington: Daniel Snyder has more money than god and can afford to give Cowher $6+ million a year. He also has a terrific running back tandem in Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts. Cowher could take this team and turn them into a powerhouse.
Therefore even though he gave Arthur Blank that bullshit line about staying out of coaching for another year, don’t be surprised if Cowher is the Redskins head coach in 2008. In fact if you want to make a bet on it, give me a call.
-David
Let’s just hope Tomlin learns from his mistakes in that game, we have a good draft with nothing but offensive lineman, and we hire a circus freak as a second kicker who can kick a ball 200 yards out the back of any endzone. If we can do that, we can win next year.
That game was damn near the only one I picked correctly last week. I took Washington (lost), Jacksonville (won), Tampa Bay (lost), and San Diego (won). So I’m sitting at 2-2. I’d have to go back and check but I think I pretty much ended up at .500 last post season so I can see my trend continues.
For the record I think New England and Indy win this weekend as well as Dallas and Green Bay.
I think Indy wins the AFC and Dallas wins the NFC.
I think Indy takes it all and makes it 2 in a row.
But now I turn my attention from the active game to the offseason – the game within the game. The first few coaching vacancies (Atlanta, Miami, and Baltimore) didn’t interest me much. Who really cares who fills in for those shitball teams? But when Joe Gibbs stepped down my Bill Cowher radar went off. I think I’ve said it here in the past but I expect Bill to go to an owner with very deep pockets when he goes back to coaching. That narrows it down to Jerry Jones in Dallas, Daniel Snyder in Washington, and Randy Lerner in Cleveland. That’s why I was so big on Jones using Wade Phillips as a pawn (until Wade fucked up his master plan by having the best team in the NFC!).
I also think Cowher would be smart to come back in the NFC and I think he knows that. The NFC is still pretty weak compared to the AFC and if a team was to institute some hard core, smash mouth football featuring a punishing running game they could cut through the NFC like a hot knife through warm butter. That’s Bill Cowher football right there.
So now I focus on Washington: Daniel Snyder has more money than god and can afford to give Cowher $6+ million a year. He also has a terrific running back tandem in Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts. Cowher could take this team and turn them into a powerhouse.
Therefore even though he gave Arthur Blank that bullshit line about staying out of coaching for another year, don’t be surprised if Cowher is the Redskins head coach in 2008. In fact if you want to make a bet on it, give me a call.
-David
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