Foreign Affairs

Coming off the presidential debate last night I am again reminded how much my own beliefs on foreign policy differ from just about any mainstream politician.

Before I go into more details, though, I want to tell you that what you are about to read is me being serious. You might thing, “Aw, that’s just David being an crazy asshole again as is his style”. But, no, this is really how I feel (this time!)

You see, I’m an isolationist. I truly believe that our foreign policy should be to bring home every troup that is currently anywhere on foreign soil. Immediately.

With our troops back home safe, we can then go about fixing our own country. We can downsize our military and use the savings from not waging wars and keeping such a large killing machine to provide healthcare, care for the retired and elderly, and trying to improve our education system so we don’t create so many idiots.

And when someone knocks on our door to tell us that they are being invaded or that their dictator is abusing them, my answer would be simple: deal with it yourself.

I’m a big fan of survival of the fittest. If someone is bullying you, beat the shit out of them. If you can’t, then die. This obviously presents some moral issues, I suppose. With this policy, certain countries will be wiped off the map and maybe even entire populations. With us being such a big super power, people will question whether we have a moral obligation to protect those who are less fortunate or powerful.

To that I say, no, we have no such responsibility. A lot of people might and will die if we don’t help them, but that’s okay. If they were stronger, they would live. Since they aren’t they will die. It’s the natural order of things. When you help the weak survive, you bring down the strength of the greater entity. Helping the weak is not the natural order of things.

You might object and say that my attitude is wrong because compassion is what separates us from animals. I would counter by saying who ever said we were anything but animals?

But David, with your shit attitude towards the rest world the Russians would overrun the Georgians? Oh well.

But David, the poor people of Iraq would not get the “American style” freedom that we know they want! Oh well.

But David, what about the Palestinians? They might wipe the Jewish people right off the face of the Middle East. Oh well.

I don’t care. This is not my concern. My concern is the welfare of my fellow Americans. If those people want to come over and join us, that’s cool. Let’s make them American citizens and then protect them over here. But if they want to stay where they are, I suggest they learn to fight.

Needless to say, neither of the 2 party candidates share my belief which is not surprising. In fact, no President will ever share my belief because to be President, you have to be kind of plain and vanilla. But that’s okay, because the one thing I have as a citizen of this country (that we should worry about taking care of more, rather than police forcing the world) is my freedom to think and say whatever I want. You can and will never take that away from me.

Oh, and to those of you who would tell me that we are trying to protect the freedoms I love by keeping the fight against terrorism back at its source I would tell you: Grow up. Don’t be such a fool. None of this bullshit is really about protecting anyones freedom… except maybe the freedom to make a fuckload of money.

And to those of you who think we will leave ourselves exposed to attack on our soil if we’re not out and about in the world bullying people around I would tell you about the other part of my other policy. And if you thought I was an insensitive prick for what I already wrote you’re really going to love this part! If at anytime anyone invades my nation’s soil, I will blow them off the face of the earth; Their entire country and everyone in it. I will bring down hell upon their land to the extent that nothing will ever be able to live there for eons to come. So don’t even think of fucking with my country. We’re going to leave all you bozos alone and I expect the same courtesy. And if a terrorist attacks (rather than a country), I will find out which country they are operating out of and I will decimate that country, killing every living being within it. So in addition to not fucking with us, you’d better keep an eye out for who is living in your country and potentially fucking with us because you will be held accountable.

Am I a prick? For sure. But that is how I feel. I suppose you can take relief in the fact that I never will be President!

Other random thoughts:

I think I have to give the “win” in the debate last night to Obama. That’s not because I thought he kicked McCain’s ass because I thought it was fairly close. I say that because it would seem that McCain should have whipped Obama in this debate but he didn’t. That’s probably going to be a problem for McCain because Obama will now just get stronger from here on out. Certainly that will be true after Biden completely embarassasses Palin in the VP debate next week. That’s going to be the funniest show I’ve seen in a long time. I just wish the VP candidates could also debate the Presidential candidates because it would be funny to see Obama also whip up on Palin and then Biden beat the holy shit out of McCain. Oh well.

I will give both candidates credit for basically answering all the questions. For the most part, neither of them pulled the classic politician move by providing an answer to a completely different question. Obama did that to some extent in the beginning of some of this answers, but he did always come back and answer the original question in the end.

I’m am now officially worried about the Steelers defense. With Kiesel out and Hampton out we are down to 1 starter on the D-Line. I think they can still win games like this (in the short term), but if we have any other injury on D at this point on the line or in the starting secondary, I think we will collapse.

I’m not worried about the offense yet, though, because I still can’t figure out what the hell happened in the Philly game. I’ve read articles that it was a coaching issue (not making adjustments) and a bit of an execution issue (everyone not on the same page with adjustments) and I suppose that makes sense. If that is the case, they should be able to overcome that immediately. But if that is not true, I fear Roethlisberger could be killed on Monday night against the Ravens as he’s sacked 20 times. It will be interesting to see which Steelers offense takes the field on Monday night.

-David

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts going into the 2008 NFL season:

The defending Superbowl Champion New York Giants will finish no better than 3rd in the NFC East (and miss the playoffs).

Brett Favre will help the Jets and get them to respectability this year (not quite to the playoffs, but close).

The Jacksonville Jaguars will win the AFC South.

The Pittsburgh Steelers will go 11-5 and win the AFC North.

The Cincinnatti Bengals will go 2-14 and Marvin Lewis will still not be fired.

7-9 will win the NFC West (the Cardinals or Rams, if anyone cares).

Santonio Holmes will statistically be the best WR in the NFL.

Satan will come to claim the soul of Bill Belifuck and his bitch, Tom Brady.

The Cleveland Browns will take the leagues best offseason and still manage to fuck it up and lose.

Rashard Mendenhall will score more yards from the line of scrimmage than Felix Jones (this does not include special teams).

DeSean Jackson is the rookie sensation WR of the year.

Enjoy the season, y’all!!!!

-David