Pittsburgh's going to the Superbowl (Here we go)

Well fuck me running up the side of a hill if lightening didn’t strike 3 times and the Cardinals once again muckered up my prognosticating. 1-1 last week brings me to a barely respectable 6-4 for the post season. But you know what? I think I can pull out the Superbowl pick and put myself over the edge here. Why?

Because Pittsburgh’s going to the Superbowl! Here we go!

Needless to say I’m ecstatic about this. We finally have the opportunity to pull in front of Dallas and San Francisco and take our rightful place atop the modern day NFL mountain. The other nice thing about this past bye week is that I’m also not a basket case like I was prior to Superbowl XL. Am I overconfident this time? Maybe. Am I just the second coming of Nostradamus as I proclaimed at the beginning of the post season? Maybe. Let’s get to the game analysis and then you can be the judge.

Pittsburgh vs Arizona? Who would have thunk it. Pittsburgh shouldn’t shock anyone as they’ve played high quality football all year long, pummeling their way through the league’s most difficult schedule at start of season. Arizona, on the other hand, started the year well, but then completely fell apart and only made the playoffs because they are in the weakest division in the NFL, the NFC West. Nonetheless, when they did get to the post season, they certainly did step up their game, especially on the defensive side of the ball. Can they pull out one more magical game and take their place in history? Another team did something similar a couple years back by squeaking into the playoffs and winning every game on the road to finally take down the Lombardi trophy in Detroit, MI. That team was the Pittsburgh Steelers and that magical run was the aforementioned Superbowl XL.

But the Arizona Cardinals are not the Pittsburgh Steelers and that, in the end, will be why Pittsburgh wins this game.

When I first started contemplating the game, I was a little nervous. Ken Whisenhunt is a good coach with a knack for knowing exactly when to throw in a trick play that can change the momentum of the game. If the Cardinals defense could at least keep the game under control for the first half, it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Whis could pull out a trick play in the second half that could give the Cardinals the lead and then allow them to ride out the momentum all the way to the end.

And I think it probably will be a close game to an extent in the first half. I think you’ll see a halftime score that puts one team up by less than 10 points. I’m not even sure which team will be ahead to tell you the truth. But that is not going to matter because I think Pittsburgh will come out of the second half and play 30 minutes of pure ball control football. They’ll use the first half to soften up the Arizona defense and I think you’ll see the Willie Parker show in the second half as we proceed to keep the Arizona offense off the field. And when they get on the field (especially in the 4th quarter), you’re going to start seeing the wheels come off as the Steelers take advantage of their desperation.

I don’t think the Steelers’ will register a single sack in the first half. However in the second half I think you’ll see Warner on his ass 3 or 4 times and he’ll also turn the ball over at least 2 times. As the Steelers smell the fear they will become almost inhuman in their aggression, kind of like sharks circling a raft full of shipwrecked sailors. Feeding Frenzy. Double Frenzy.

By the time the clock ticks to zero, I think we’ll see that one team has completely and totally imposed their will on the other team.

And that will be the Steelers, 35 to 20.

Is that because Tomlin/Lebeau will win the coaching battle with Whis/Haley? Is that because Big Ben will not turn the ball over? Is that because the Steelers D will finally crack the riddle of getting to Warner? Or is that because Warner is a flaming douchebag?

No. The reason the Steelers will win this game is actually very simple. As a group of individuals that build up into a team, the Steelers are just flat out better. And the better team is going to win this game. At damn near every position on the field we are better than they are (and that includes the cornerbacks, Paul).

Yeah, Whis probably will catch us with our pants down for a trick play. But you can only hide the lack of talent on that team for so long with smoke and mirrors. The Steelers will destroy those mirrors and once again lift the Lombardi trophy above their heads.

-David

Other random thoughts on the big game:

Whoever wins the 3rd quarter will win the game.

I do wonder how Hines Ward will be in the game. They list him as probable and I do believe he’ll be in pretty good shape. If he is playing well and the knee is not bothering him I think that is just another nail in the coffin of Arizona. With Hines and Heath Miller on the field, both our clutch 3rd down weapons will be on display. Let the first downs begin!!

As far as the MVP? I would LOVE it if Hines would get it again. But I guess I’m leaning towards Big Ben taking it this time. My back up pick would be Troy Polamalu.

I read this week that the Mayor of Phoenix pretended to blow his nose on the Terrible Towel and then he threw it on the ground. BIG FUCKING MISTAKE, douchebag. No one disrespects the Terrible Towel. You’ll have to learn the hard way.

I also hear that the Steelers Nation has descended on Tampa. The vast majority of the true fans in audience tomorrow night will be Steelers fan. This is no surprise. The Cardinals and their fans aren’t going to know what to think. Our fans, like the team, are prepared for battle when they travel. Thousands of drunken yinzers will pour into the stadium in infinite waves to see the damage that will be wrought, drinking every last drop of beer the vendors have to sell in the process. The Cardinals fans are not going to know what to think of this. I expect the majority of them to shit their pants in fear of the Black and Gold mob. Hell, by the end of the game they will probably become Steelers fans. They will see that life is more fun that way.

And what’s up with the media all of a sudden starting to pick Arizona. It’s damn near becoming fashionable. Maybe they think Arizona is charmed? Maybe they are just haters? The majority of those hacks are still picking the Steelers but it disturbs me that more than a couple seem to think the Cardinals could do this. I think it must be the NFL paying them off to make people think it will be a good, close game.

As for me? Unlike Superbowl XL, I will not huddle inside my house like a crazed hermit and watch the game far away from the eyes of the my critics. I’ll be going into the belly of the beast – No – not to an Arizona Cardinals fan’s house (because there are no such things in existence). Rather I’ll be going to my buddy Dave’s Superbowl party. Dave is a Bengals fan (he has issues) but I’ll be surrounded by two of the biggest Pittsburgh Haters I know (Cowboys fans, of course) as well as your odds and ends of Redskins and Bills and etc. As far as I know, my wife and I will be the only two Steelers fans in attendance. But don’t fear, dear reader. I am true Black and Gold to the core and I will rise above all the haters and help the rest of the Steelers Nation will them on to victory.

HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!

-David

PS: Obviously this week’s entry is about the farthest thing from “objective” as you can get. But fuck it. Give me a break this one time. That part about us being the better group of players is true and is honestly why I think the Steelers will win.

PSS: Fuck Kurt Warner and his wacked out Christianity. And fuck his haggly wife. On second thought, no, we’ll leave him to fuck that nasty thing. The only thing that could be better than a Steelers win would be a Steelers win which includes us knocking that fucknut out of the game and forcing Playboy Leinart to come in and embarrass his team. Salt on the wound, baby.